Broke and... Single.

When you go from years of “us” to being on your own, it’s not just your personal life that changes.  Splitting the cost of bills, nights out, gifts for friends, and general life expenses suddenly become a huge one woman (or man) responsibility.  Cheap nights in spent cuddling on the couch and sharing a bottle of wine turn into expensive nights out in an attempt to socialize and not turn into a depressed, lonely hobbit.

So how can one be single and social without going broke?  That’s the question I’ve been exploring the last few weeks and here’s what I’ve found.

Share your story.  Everyone feels like poo after a break up, but it’s important to remember how many people love you.  Be open with your experience and those people will do everything they can to get you back on your feet.  A place to stay.  A warm dinner.  A drink.  Someone to talk to.  Enjoy and appreciate the love.

Be honest.  It’s weird to lay all your shit on the line the first time you go out with someone new, but if you want to date, and you’re pinching pennies, you have to be honest and up front about your financial situation.  Within the first two or three dates make it clear that you’re all for having a good time, but regular nights out of drinks, dinner, and a movie aren’t in your budget.  Brainstorm cheap things you can do together.  Not only might you discover something new and exciting, but you’ll lay a groundwork for your financial expectations going forward.

Coordinate.  Take on the role of social coordinator.  Instead of following friends to expensive bars and restaurants, be the one to make the plans.  Organize a potluck or host a game night.  If you want to have a night out, see if you can find a groupon, livingsocial deal, or restaurant.com discount for your favorite nightlife spots.

Cut yourself some slack.  As anal as I am about budgeting, there are times I just need to take a breath and treat myself.  I don’t want to make a habit out of it, but I’m not going to let my finances stand in the way of my happiness.  If you need a massage or a fancy night out with a friend or an elaborate, romantic date, go for it.  Just remember to keep track and make sure it’s not becoming a regular overindulgence.

It turns out single can be exciting, fun, and affordable too.